31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery (Matthew 5:31–32, NKJV).”
God created, arranged, and sanctified marriage for man and woman (Gen. 2:21-25). Over time, people failed to honor marriage by introducing all kinds of corruption that defiled this holy union, including polygamy (Gen. 4:19), homosexuality (Gen. 19:5), adultery (2 Sam. 11:2-4), and divorce (Mal. 2:13-16). God restrained man’s cheapened disregard for marriage through the Law of Moses, placing restrictions on plural wives, divorce, and remarriage (Exod. 21:10; Deut. 21:15-17; 24:1-4). Yet, in the days of Christ, marriage continued to be minimized as a relationship easily discarded and replaced with a legal document (Matt. 5:31; 19:7-8). Jesus applied His authority over marriage, affirming its sanctity and exclusivity. The person who divorces his (or her) spouse for “any reason except sexual immorality (fornication) bears responsibility for the sin of separating what God joined, and the future sin remarriage produces (Matt. 5:32; 19:6). Only the reason of sexual immorality (fornication) suffices to put away a spouse without causing her to commit adultery through remarriage (Matt. 5:32). And, the person who marries one who has been divorced (put away) also commits adultery (Matt. 19:9). Jesus calls on everyone to honor marriage as God gave it instead of dishonoring it and losing our souls (Heb. 13:4).
The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason” (Matthew 19:3, NKJV)?
Ending marriages for all sorts of reasons is commonplace in America and around the world. The deterioration of marriage does untold damage to families and souls. How Jesus answered the Pharisees’ insincere question settles God’s view of divorce. (1) “Have you not read” (Matt. 19:4). God’s word answers the question of divorce for all who believe. (2) God rules over marriage (Matt. 19:4-5). It is His gift to humanity, and we must obey His will in it. (3) Marriage is between a male (man) and a female (woman) (Matt. 19:4, 5). Same-sex “marriage” is a corruption of marriage and not God’s will. (4) God joins together the man and his wife (Matt. 19:5-6). God approves and joins one man and one woman in marriage (Rom. 7:2-3). (5) People are not to separate what God joins together (Matt. 19:6). Ending a marriage without God’s approval is sin (1 Cor. 7:10). (6) Jesus said God allows one reason for ending a marriage, fornication (Matt. 19:9). Divorce for “any reason” (Matt. 19:3) violates God’s will and is evidence of a hard heart toward God and marriage (Matt. 19:7-8). Christ permits putting away a spouse for the cause of fornication. By doing so, the one innocent of fornication has God’s consent to marry another. All other remarriages produce adultery, and those in them are not “joined together” by God (Matt. 19:9, 6). God’s way is not man’s way (Isa. 55:8-9). But all who want God’s blessing will abide in His will concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage (Matt. 19:10-12).
17 For Herod himself had sent and laid hold of John, and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife; for he had married her. 18 Because John had said to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife” (Mark 6:17–18, NKJV).
Marriage is a stabilizing force of society. Any society cannot long endure when it devalues and distorts the marriage relationship between man and woman. God inaugurated marriage as a blessing for humanity in Eden (Gen. 2:18-25). It is not the product of the cultural development of societies through the ages. Jesus acknowledged the abiding truth that marriage is from God and for life (Mark 10:6-8). The divine arrangement of marriage is one man and one woman for life (Matt. 19:4-5; Rom. 7:2-3). History records marriage’s disfigurement and destruction by such sins as polygamy, concubinage, divorce for every cause, and cohabiting without marriage (Gen. 4:19; Mal. 2:13-16; Matt. 19:3, 6-8; Rom. 1:24-29). Today’s passage reminds us that not every marriage is lawful and good in God’s sight. Herod’s marriage to Herodias (his brother Philip’s wife) was unlawful. Herod and Herodias had divorced their spouses to enter this unholy union (Josephus, Antiquities of the Jews, 18.5.1; 18.5.4). John would be beheaded because he rebuked their sin (Mark 6:19-29). Marriage is a commitment for life (Rom. 7:2-3). God gives one cause for ending a marriage with approval to remarry (Matt. 19:9). Let us uphold God-approved marriages but never approve relationships God’s word defines as sin (Matt. 5:32; Heb. 13:4).
For every house is built by someone, but He who built all things is God. (Hebrews 3:4, NKJV)
We necessarily infer when we see a building that someone built it. A house does not build itself. Its design, foundation, supports, and construction reflect its builder’s intelligence, skill, and purposes. The Scriptures apply this simple principle to God. 1) God built the universe (Gen. 1:1; Job 38:4-6). NASA just landed a spacecraft on Mars. That engineering feat did not happen by chance. It was the result of the skillful use of knowledge. Likewise, the heavens and the earth do not exist by chance, but by the Creator’s intelligent design and power. 2) God built marriage (Gen. 2:21-24; Matt. 19:3-6). Marriage between one man and one woman for life is God’s design for societal order and spiritual development (1 Cor. 7:1-5; Eph. 6:1-4). Human distortions of the builder’s plan and purposes of marriage disrespect its Architect while jeopardizing souls (Rom. 1:24-32; Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Pet. 3:1-7). A return to God’s teachings about marriage strengthens families, societies, and souls. 3) God built the church (Matt. 16:18; 1 Cor. 3:9-11). The church’s teachings, organization, and work have been sliced and diced by the will and doctrines of men (Gal. 1:6-10; Col. 2:8, 20-23; 1 Tim. 4:1-3). Christians are God’s house if we remain faithful to Him (Heb. 3:6-14). Therefore God, the Grand Builder of all things, deserves our honor, respect, and obedience.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22–24, NKJV)
Secular feminists think this is sexism, male chauvinism, and bigotry. This is a gross misunderstanding and misrepresentation. The relationships of every organization or institution include roles and assignments that enable it to function successfully. Without such structure, relationships fray and falter. So it is with marriage. God-given roles in marriage accomplish their God-given purposes (Gen. 2:18-25). The husband’s role in marriage is to be a servant-leader. He is “head of the wife” like Christ is to His church. The wife’s response to his role is submission. She willingly puts herself under his leadership, not as a fearful slave to an overbearing tyrant, but as a respectful helper who respects and trusts his leadership. Husbands strengthen their marriages when they step up and become spiritual leaders in their marriages. Wives strengthen their marriages when they respect and help their husbands do so. These divine assignments are not about superiority and inferiority. They are about mutual love and respect with Christ at the center of the marital relationship. Unselfish service is at the heart of successful marriage.
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:18–21, NKJV)
A growing number of educators, societal-influencers, and politicians are vigorously engaged in undermining the God-given family structure with their transgender ideology. One writer noted, “Nancy Pelosi and her fellow gender-inclusive enthusiasts have taken a bold and much-disparaged move to erase language that expresses the reality of familial relationships. In the name of inclusivity, words like “father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, nephew, niece, husband, wife, son-in-law, and daughter-in-law” have been targeted for erasure from House proceedings” (Kimberly Ells, “The endgame of transgender ideology is to dismantle the family,” mercatornet.com). Wives (feminine gender) and husbands (masculine gender) form marriages, not the fornication of same-sex unions (1 Cor. 6:9-10). Gender is natural and biological; it is not a person’s fluid, personal perception of themselves. Children are the natural result of marriage’s union of male and female (Gen. 1:28; 2:24; 4:1-2). It is not bigotry to recognize these fundamental truths. Sin and moral chaos result when God’s truth is discarded, not the utopian unity offered by refusing to retain God and His truth in our knowledge (Rom. 1:21-32).
13 And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. 14 Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. (Malachi 2:13–14, NKJV)
Marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman, and the one God who sanctions it (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:14; Matt. 19:6; Rom. 7:2). Men and women have corrupted God-designed, God-approved marriage in many ways, from multiple spouses, to adulterous remarriages, to same-sex agreements (Gen.4:19; Mk. 6:17-18; Rom. 1:24-28). The men of Israel dishonored their wives by divorcing and taking other wives (Mal. 2:16). By this, they dishonored God, who blessed their marriages. Honor for marriage includes respecting and maintaining its moral purity and exclusivity (Heb. 13:4). It includes following the position God set marriage in the parent-child structure. God’s arrangement is leaving parents – forming a “one-flesh” marriage (covenant approval by God) – then bearing children (Gen. 2:24-25; 4:1). Following God’s righteous order exalts a nation, “but sin is a reproach to any people” (Prov. 14:34).
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22, NKJV)
Anthropologists tell us marriage is a social development borne over years of adaptation for the sake of necessity, alliances, and survival instincts. The Bible presents a very different picture. Jesus connected the beginning of marriage with “the beginning of the creation,” affirming that both originated with God (Mk. 10:6; Gen. 2:18-24). Solomon strayed from God’s marriage arrangement of one man and one woman for life, and his faith and loyalty to God faltered (1 Kgs. 11:1-8). Marriage was designed by God to be a blessing. It is men and women who repeatedly corrupt its purity and goodness with such things as multiple wives (Gen. 4:16-19), divorce (Mal. 2:14-16), same-sex marriage (1 Cor. 6:9-10), and other redefinitions of marriage (not to mention fornication and adultery, Heb. 13:4). In today’s verse, as in all other biblical references, the word “wife” is feminine, and is coupled with the masculine form for husband (or, as in this case, a masculine pronoun for the husband). Husband and wife are not man and man or woman and woman – such relationships may be legal contracts, but they are not marriages in the sight of God. The value of a good wife is immeasurable (Prov. 31:10). A selfish, sinful spouse is a heartache that can lead to your spiritual demise. Choose wisely. And, be thankful to God for the blessing of a good wife (or a good husband) in your life.
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. (Colossians 3:18–19, NKJV)
Those are not popular words. Many say they are wrong words. They are right words, because they are God’s words. God arranged marriage to provide homes with stability and security, while upholding the worth and value of wives and husbands. Modern social norms have done great harm to marriage. Forsaking the God-endorsed moral foundation of marriage (one man, one woman, for life, Gen. 2:23-25; Matt. 19:4-6), such things as easy divorce, living together without marriage, same sex marriage, and other deviations devalue and dishonor marriage. When followed, the God-given roles and responsibilities of wives and husbands bring blessings of love, joy, and peace to marriage. Wives are taught to yield to “their own husbands in everything,” as “the church is subject to Christ” (Eph. 5:22-24). Husbands are taught to love their wives “as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:25). Marriages grow stronger when the husband (without bitterness) sacrifices for his wife like Christ did for His church. Marriages grow stronger when the wife willingly respects and follows her husband like the church follows Christ. Meeting our unique roles as husbands and wives solidify our union, “until death we do part.” God’s plan for marriage works. We have to work the plan.
“that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,” (Titus 2:4, NKJV)
Today is February 14 – Valentine’s Day – a day to fondly and affectionately acknowledge the person you love. Today’s verse calls attention to the work of older women to admonish (“to make of sound mind, to discipline or correct: -teach to be sober,” Strong’s Dictionary) young women to “love” their husbands. Interestingly, “love” in this verse is not agape (active goodwill), it is a variation of phileo (warm affection). So then, God’s word says young wives must discipline themselves to be affectionate toward their husbands. Without a doubt (and to their shame), some husbands make this a difficult task! A loving husband helps his wife develop the affectionate quality of love by living with her “with understanding” and giving her the honor she is due (1 Peter 3:7). Still, today’s verse reminds a wife of her responsibility. When it is easy (like on Valentine’s Day) and when it is difficult, the godly wife does not withhold warmhearted affection from her husband. A husband’s understanding and a wife’s affection help secure and strengthen marriage – every day of the year.