11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11–12, NKJV)
The teachings of Jesus Christ do not conform to the preferences and practices of men and women. His teaching on the permanency of marriage is one such doctrine that often conflicts with human will and wisdom. When the Pharisees questioned Him about the lawfulness of ending a marriage, Jesus went to the beginning when God instituted marriage and concluded, “what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:6-9). When His disciples asked Him about this matter privately, Jesus explained the result of separating what God joins together and marrying another person, namely, adultery. Jesus allows one exception in Matthew 19:9 (the cause of fornication), allowing the remarriage of the one who ends their marriage because of their spouse’s sexual infidelity. Instead of thinking Christ’s teaching is too harsh, we should trust His will on marriage and divorce is correct and honor marriage as a lifelong commitment (Matt. 19:10-12). Marriage is a solemn covenant made to each other before God (Mal. 2:14). God “hates divorce” and does not hold guiltless those who separate what He joins together (Mal. 2:16; Matt. 19:6; 1 Cor. 7:10-11). So, enter marriage with respect for its permanency and for God who gave it to us and regulates it for our spiritual protection and blessing.
But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches (1 Corinthians 7:17, NKJV).
In a context discussing privileges and prohibitions of marriage, Paul reviews a foundational principle that he appointed as an apostle of Christ in all the churches. Three times in this paragraph (1 Cor. 7:17-24), the apostle teaches Christians to “remain in the same calling” in which God had called them (into fellowship with His Son, Jesus, 1 Cor. 7:17, 20, 24; 1:9). Some brethren have wildly abused this passage by advising people they may remain in unholy marriages after becoming Christians. Such counsel is a gross violation of this context and the broader will of God toward repentance of sin. This passage describes remaining faithful to Christ (“keeping the commandments of God,” v. 19) in non-sinful conditions and relationships (circumcised or uncircumcised, vv. 18-19; bond or free, vv. 21-22). It does not sanction continuing in sinful conditions and relationships such as unlawful remarriages (Matt. 19:9-12; Mark 6:17-18). (May the polygamist remain in adultery upon becoming a Christian? Of course not, Rom. 7:2-3; Heb. 13:4.) Yet, in an attempt at consistency, those who distort today’s passage to approve sinful remarriages have even said God allows Christians to remain in polygamy after conversion. This shameful error gives sinners confidence to stay in sin instead of repenting and ending every sinful action and relation (Rom. 6:1-2; Acts 17:30; 18:8; 1 Cor. 6:9-11). We must “remain with God” in our marriages instead of enslaving ourselves to the sinful will and errors of men (1 Cor. 7:23-24; Gal. 1:6-9; 2 John 9). This means an unlawful marriage must end because one is not remaining with God while remaining in it (Ezra 10:1-4, 10-11).
16 But when Herod heard, he said, “This is John, whom I beheaded; he has been raised from the dead!” 17 For Herod himself had sent and laid hold of John, and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife; for he had married her. 18 Because John had said to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife” (Mark 6:16–18, NKJV).
Herod thought John had risen from the dead when he heard about the healing powers of Jesus. John was a fearless preacher of righteousness who lost his head, literally. Would your preacher do what John did? (1) John lost his head because he dared to condemn adultery (Mark 6:18). Because of his rebuke, Herodias was enraged and wanted to kill him (Mark 6:19-20). Today, many preachers approve or accommodate adulterous marriages with preaching that sanctions divorce for any reason and remarriage with impunity (Matt. 5:32; 19:3-6, 9). Like John, we must condemn adultery (including sinful remarriages), not comfort those practicing it (Heb. 13:4). (2) John lost his head because of a rash vow (Mark 6:21-26). Herod swore up to half of his kingdom to Herodias’s daughter, driven by fleshly pleasure when he saw her dance. John’s head was on the line. Herod was sorry, but he was too proud to recant. Tongue control still begins with heart control (Matt. 12:35-37). (3) John lost his head because of a dancing daughter (Mark 6:22). Please note, Herod did not dance, but he watched it. Modern dances still incite lustful thoughts leading to lewd conduct (Gal. 5:19; Rom. 13:13). If you don’t go into a burning house to watch the flames, then don’t go to the dance floor (or turn on the TV) just to watch it (Job 31:1-4). How many preachers today would lose their heads in Herod’s court?
31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery (Matthew 5:31–32, NKJV).”
God created, arranged, and sanctified marriage for man and woman (Gen. 2:21-25). Over time, people failed to honor marriage by introducing all kinds of corruption that defiled this holy union, including polygamy (Gen. 4:19), homosexuality (Gen. 19:5), adultery (2 Sam. 11:2-4), and divorce (Mal. 2:13-16). God restrained man’s cheapened disregard for marriage through the Law of Moses, placing restrictions on plural wives, divorce, and remarriage (Exod. 21:10; Deut. 21:15-17; 24:1-4). Yet, in the days of Christ, marriage continued to be minimized as a relationship easily discarded and replaced with a legal document (Matt. 5:31; 19:7-8). Jesus applied His authority over marriage, affirming its sanctity and exclusivity. The person who divorces his (or her) spouse for “any reason except sexual immorality (fornication) bears responsibility for the sin of separating what God joined, and the future sin remarriage produces (Matt. 5:32; 19:6). Only the reason of sexual immorality (fornication) suffices to put away a spouse without causing her to commit adultery through remarriage (Matt. 5:32). And, the person who marries one who has been divorced (put away) also commits adultery (Matt. 19:9). Jesus calls on everyone to honor marriage as God gave it instead of dishonoring it and losing our souls (Heb. 13:4).
The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason” (Matthew 19:3, NKJV)?
Ending marriages for all sorts of reasons is commonplace in America and around the world. The deterioration of marriage does untold damage to families and souls. How Jesus answered the Pharisees’ insincere question settles God’s view of divorce. (1) “Have you not read” (Matt. 19:4). God’s word answers the question of divorce for all who believe. (2) God rules over marriage (Matt. 19:4-5). It is His gift to humanity, and we must obey His will in it. (3) Marriage is between a male (man) and a female (woman) (Matt. 19:4, 5). Same-sex “marriage” is a corruption of marriage and not God’s will. (4) God joins together the man and his wife (Matt. 19:5-6). God approves and joins one man and one woman in marriage (Rom. 7:2-3). (5) People are not to separate what God joins together (Matt. 19:6). Ending a marriage without God’s approval is a sin (1 Cor. 7:10). (6) Jesus said God allows one reason for ending a marriage, fornication (Matt. 19:9). Divorce for “any reason” (Matt. 19:3) violates God’s will and is evidence of a hard heart toward God and marriage (Matt. 19:7-8). Christ permits putting away a spouse for the cause of fornication. By doing so, the one innocent of fornication has God’s consent to marry another. All other remarriages produce adultery, and those in them are not “joined together” by God (Matt. 19:9, 6). God’s way is not man’s way (Isa. 55:8-9). All who want God’s blessing will abide in His will concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage (Matt. 19:10-12).
17 For Herod himself had sent and laid hold of John, and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife; for he had married her. 18 Because John had said to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife” (Mark 6:17–18, NKJV).
Marriage is a stabilizing force of society. Any society cannot long endure when it devalues and distorts the marriage relationship between man and woman. God inaugurated marriage as a blessing for humanity in Eden (Gen. 2:18-25). It is not the product of the cultural development of societies through the ages. Jesus acknowledged the abiding truth that marriage is from God and for life (Mark 10:6-8). The divine arrangement of marriage is one man and one woman for life (Matt. 19:4-5; Rom. 7:2-3). History records marriage’s disfigurement and destruction by such sins as polygamy, concubinage, divorce for every cause, and cohabiting without marriage (Gen. 4:19; Mal. 2:13-16; Matt. 19:3, 6-8; Rom. 1:24-29). Today’s passage reminds us that not every marriage is lawful and good in God’s sight. Herod’s marriage to Herodias (his brother Philip’s wife) was unlawful. Herod and Herodias had divorced their spouses to enter this unholy union (Josephus, Antiquities of the Jews, 18.5.1; 18.5.4). John would be beheaded because he rebuked their sin (Mark 6:19-29). Marriage is a commitment for life (Rom. 7:2-3). God gives one cause for ending a marriage with approval to remarry (Matt. 19:9). Let us uphold God-approved marriages but never approve relationships God’s word defines as sin (Matt. 5:32; Heb. 13:4).
For every house is built by someone, but He who built all things is God. (Hebrews 3:4, NKJV)
We necessarily infer when we see a building that someone built it. A house does not build itself. Its design, foundation, supports, and construction reflect its builder’s intelligence, skill, and purposes. The Scriptures apply this simple principle to God. 1) God built the universe (Gen. 1:1; Job 38:4-6). NASA just landed a spacecraft on Mars. That engineering feat did not happen by chance. It was the result of the skillful use of knowledge. Likewise, the heavens and the earth do not exist by chance, but by the Creator’s intelligent design and power. 2) God built marriage (Gen. 2:21-24; Matt. 19:3-6). Marriage between one man and one woman for life is God’s design for societal order and spiritual development (1 Cor. 7:1-5; Eph. 6:1-4). Human distortions of the builder’s plan and purposes of marriage disrespect its Architect while jeopardizing souls (Rom. 1:24-32; Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Pet. 3:1-7). A return to God’s teachings about marriage strengthens families, societies, and souls. 3) God built the church (Matt. 16:18; 1 Cor. 3:9-11). The church’s teachings, organization, and work have been sliced and diced by the will and doctrines of men (Gal. 1:6-10; Col. 2:8, 20-23; 1 Tim. 4:1-3). Christians are God’s house if we remain faithful to Him (Heb. 3:6-14). Therefore God, the Grand Builder of all things, deserves our honor, respect, and obedience.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22–24, NKJV)
Secular feminists think this is sexism, male chauvinism, and bigotry. This is a gross misunderstanding and misrepresentation. The relationships of every organization or institution include roles and assignments that enable it to function successfully. Without such structure, relationships fray and falter. So it is with marriage. God-given roles in marriage accomplish their God-given purposes (Gen. 2:18-25). The husband’s role in marriage is to be a servant-leader. He is “head of the wife” like Christ is to His church. The wife’s response to his role is submission. She willingly puts herself under his leadership, not as a fearful slave to an overbearing tyrant, but as a respectful helper who respects and trusts his leadership. Husbands strengthen their marriages when they step up and become spiritual leaders in their marriages. Wives strengthen their marriages when they respect and help their husbands do so. These divine assignments are not about superiority and inferiority. They are about mutual love and respect with Christ at the center of the marital relationship. Unselfish service is at the heart of successful marriage.
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:18–21, NKJV)
A growing number of educators, societal-influencers, and politicians are vigorously engaged in undermining the God-given family structure with their transgender ideology. One writer noted, “Nancy Pelosi and her fellow gender-inclusive enthusiasts have taken a bold and much-disparaged move to erase language that expresses the reality of familial relationships. In the name of inclusivity, words like “father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, nephew, niece, husband, wife, son-in-law, and daughter-in-law” have been targeted for erasure from House proceedings” (Kimberly Ells, “The endgame of transgender ideology is to dismantle the family,” mercatornet.com). Wives (feminine gender) and husbands (masculine gender) form marriages, not the fornication of same-sex unions (1 Cor. 6:9-10). Gender is natural and biological; it is not a person’s fluid, personal perception of themselves. Children are the natural result of marriage’s union of male and female (Gen. 1:28; 2:24; 4:1-2). It is not bigotry to recognize these fundamental truths. Sin and moral chaos result when God’s truth is discarded, not the utopian unity offered by refusing to retain God and His truth in our knowledge (Rom. 1:21-32).
13 And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. 14 Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. (Malachi 2:13–14, NKJV)
Marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman, and the one God who sanctions it (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:14; Matt. 19:6; Rom. 7:2). Men and women have corrupted God-designed, God-approved marriage in many ways, from multiple spouses, to adulterous remarriages, to same-sex agreements (Gen.4:19; Mk. 6:17-18; Rom. 1:24-28). The men of Israel dishonored their wives by divorcing and taking other wives (Mal. 2:16). By this, they dishonored God, who blessed their marriages. Honor for marriage includes respecting and maintaining its moral purity and exclusivity (Heb. 13:4). It includes following the position God set marriage in the parent-child structure. God’s arrangement is leaving parents – forming a “one-flesh” marriage (covenant approval by God) – then bearing children (Gen. 2:24-25; 4:1). Following God’s righteous order exalts a nation, “but sin is a reproach to any people” (Prov. 14:34).