We necessarily infer when we see a building that someone built it. A house does not build itself. Its design, foundation, supports, and construction reflect its builder’s intelligence, skill, and purposes. The Scriptures apply this simple principle to God. 1) God built the universe (Gen. 1:1; Job 38:4-6). NASA just landed a spacecraft on Mars. That engineering feat did not happen by chance. It was the result of the skillful use of knowledge. Likewise, the heavens and the earth do not exist by chance, but by the Creator’s intelligent design and power. 2) God built marriage (Gen. 2:21-24; Matt. 19:3-6). Marriage between one man and one woman for life is God’s design for societal order and spiritual development (1 Cor. 7:1-5; Eph. 6:1-4). Human distortions of the builder’s plan and purposes of marriage disrespect its Architect while jeopardizing souls (Rom. 1:24-32; Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Pet. 3:1-7). A return to God’s teachings about marriage strengthens families, societies, and souls. 3) God built the church (Matt. 16:18; 1 Cor. 3:9-11). The church’s teachings, organization, and work have been sliced and diced by the will and doctrines of men (Gal. 1:6-10; Col. 2:8, 20-23; 1 Tim. 4:1-3). Christians are God’s house if we remain faithful to Him (Heb. 3:6-14). Therefore God, the Grand Builder of all things, deserves our honor, respect, and obedience.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22–24, NKJV)
Secular feminists think this is sexism, male chauvinism, and bigotry. This is a gross misunderstanding and misrepresentation. The relationships of every organization or institution include roles and assignments that enable it to function successfully. Without such structure, relationships fray and falter. So it is with marriage. God-given roles in marriage accomplish their God-given purposes (Gen. 2:18-25). The husband’s role in marriage is to be a servant-leader. He is “head of the wife” like Christ is to His church. The wife’s response to his role is submission. She willingly puts herself under his leadership, not as a fearful slave to an overbearing tyrant, but as a respectful helper who respects and trusts his leadership. Husbands strengthen their marriages when they step up and become spiritual leaders in their marriages. Wives strengthen their marriages when they respect and help their husbands do so. These divine assignments are not about superiority and inferiority. They are about mutual love and respect with Christ at the center of the marital relationship. Unselfish service is at the heart of successful marriage.
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:18–21, NKJV)
A growing number of educators, societal-influencers, and politicians are vigorously engaged in undermining the God-given family structure with their transgender ideology. One writer noted, “Nancy Pelosi and her fellow gender-inclusive enthusiasts have taken a bold and much-disparaged move to erase language that expresses the reality of familial relationships. In the name of inclusivity, words like “father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, nephew, niece, husband, wife, son-in-law, and daughter-in-law” have been targeted for erasure from House proceedings” (Kimberly Ells, “The endgame of transgender ideology is to dismantle the family,” mercatornet.com). Wives (feminine gender) and husbands (masculine gender) form marriages, not the fornication of same-sex unions (1 Cor. 6:9-10). Gender is natural and biological; it is not a person’s fluid, personal perception of themselves. Children are the natural result of marriage’s union of male and female (Gen. 1:28; 2:24; 4:1-2). It is not bigotry to recognize these fundamental truths. Sin and moral chaos result when God’s truth is discarded, not the utopian unity offered by refusing to retain God and His truth in our knowledge (Rom. 1:21-32).
13 And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. 14 Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. (Malachi 2:13–14, NKJV)
Marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman, and the one God who sanctions it (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:14; Matt. 19:6; Rom. 7:2). Men and women have corrupted God-designed, God-approved marriage in many ways, from multiple spouses, to adulterous remarriages, to same-sex agreements (Gen.4:19; Mk. 6:17-18; Rom. 1:24-28). The men of Israel dishonored their wives by divorcing and taking other wives (Mal. 2:16). By this, they dishonored God, who blessed their marriages. Honor for marriage includes respecting and maintaining its moral purity and exclusivity (Heb. 13:4). It includes following the position God set marriage in the parent-child structure. God’s arrangement is leaving parents – forming a “one-flesh” marriage (covenant approval by God) – then bearing children (Gen. 2:24-25; 4:1). Following God’s righteous order exalts a nation, “but sin is a reproach to any people” (Prov. 14:34).
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22, NKJV)
Anthropologists tell us marriage is a social development borne over years of adaptation for the sake of necessity, alliances, and survival instincts. The Bible presents a very different picture. Jesus connected the beginning of marriage with “the beginning of the creation,” affirming that both originated with God (Mk. 10:6; Gen. 2:18-24). Solomon strayed from God’s marriage arrangement of one man and one woman for life, and his faith and loyalty to God faltered (1 Kgs. 11:1-8). Marriage was designed by God to be a blessing. It is men and women who repeatedly corrupt its purity and goodness with such things as multiple wives (Gen. 4:16-19), divorce (Mal. 2:14-16), same-sex marriage (1 Cor. 6:9-10), and other redefinitions of marriage (not to mention fornication and adultery, Heb. 13:4). In today’s verse, as in all other biblical references, the word “wife” is feminine, and is coupled with the masculine form for husband (or, as in this case, a masculine pronoun for the husband). Husband and wife are not man and man or woman and woman – such relationships may be legal contracts, but they are not marriages in the sight of God. The value of a good wife is immeasurable (Prov. 31:10). A selfish, sinful spouse is a heartache that can lead to your spiritual demise. Choose wisely. And, be thankful to God for the blessing of a good wife (or a good husband) in your life.
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. (Colossians 3:18–19, NKJV)
Those are not popular words. Many say they are wrong words. They are right words, because they are God’s words. God arranged marriage to provide homes with stability and security, while upholding the worth and value of wives and husbands. Modern social norms have done great harm to marriage. Forsaking the God-endorsed moral foundation of marriage (one man, one woman, for life, Gen. 2:23-25; Matt. 19:4-6), such things as easy divorce, living together without marriage, same sex marriage, and other deviations devalue and dishonor marriage. When followed, the God-given roles and responsibilities of wives and husbands bring blessings of love, joy, and peace to marriage. Wives are taught to yield to “their own husbands in everything,” as “the church is subject to Christ” (Eph. 5:22-24). Husbands are taught to love their wives “as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:25). Marriages grow stronger when the husband (without bitterness) sacrifices for his wife like Christ did for His church. Marriages grow stronger when the wife willingly respects and follows her husband like the church follows Christ. Meeting our unique roles as husbands and wives solidify our union, “until death we do part.” God’s plan for marriage works. We have to work the plan.
“that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,” (Titus 2:4, NKJV)
Today is February 14 – Valentine’s Day – a day to fondly and affectionately acknowledge the person you love. Today’s verse calls attention to the work of older women to admonish (“to make of sound mind, to discipline or correct: -teach to be sober,” Strong’s Dictionary) young women to “love” their husbands. Interestingly, “love” in this verse is not agape (active goodwill), it is a variation of phileo (warm affection). So then, God’s word says young wives must discipline themselves to be affectionate toward their husbands. Without a doubt (and to their shame), some husbands make this a difficult task! A loving husband helps his wife develop the affectionate quality of love by living with her “with understanding” and giving her the honor she is due (1 Peter 3:7). Still, today’s verse reminds a wife of her responsibility. When it is easy (like on Valentine’s Day) and when it is difficult, the godly wife does not withhold warmhearted affection from her husband. A husband’s understanding and a wife’s affection help secure and strengthen marriage – every day of the year.
A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:39, NKJV)
The divinely mandated permanency of marriage is reiterated here. The word “bound” signifies to be obligated to – it describes a tie with obligations. While “friends with benefits” popularizes fornication and diminishes marriage, “marriage with obligations” is God’s directive (Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:27). Marriage is not “until we fall out of love” – it is “until death we do part.” This is why marrying another person while one’s original spouse is alive is adultery (Romans 7:2-3). Marriage cannot be ended on a whim, or on differences we deem to be “irreconcilable.” Only fornication gives the other party in marriage the freedom to put away the offender and marry another (Matthew 19:9). According to Jesus, all other remarriages constitute adultery (Matthew 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18). Death of the spouse to whom God joined you ends marriage’s obligation, freeing one to marry again in harmony with God’s will. We must return to honoring the serious, lifelong obligation one accepts when entering marriage. Otherwise, people will continue dishonoring marriage by putting asunder what God has joined together (Matthew 19:6). Be assured, this sin does not escape the attention of the One to whom we will give account (2 Corinthians 5:10; Hebrews 13:4).
25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. (1 Corinthians 7:25–28, NKJV)
The final section of 1 Corinthians 7 (verses 25-40) addresses those who are free to marry in the context and consideration of the “present distress” that was pressing upon the saints at Corinth. Paul reiterates what he spoke to earlier in the chapter, that marriage is good in God’s sight, but it is not commanded (1 Cor. 7:1-2, 6-7). In light of the turbulent trials of faith they faced, Paul’s prevailing, inspired judgment was that they to remain free of marriage (v. 25, 40). Their very lives would be threatened, and every part of their faith would be put to the test (1 Cor. 7:29-30; Luke 14:26). At a time when they could ill afford distractions, declining marriage would prevent additional troubles (1 Cor. 7:28-34). His counsel would spare them trouble so they “may serve the Lord without distraction” (1 Cor. 7:28, 35). Are you willing to forego your rights and liberties in order to protect your faith (and the faith of others) against distractions (1 Cor. 8:9; Heb. 12:1)?
21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. 22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.” (1 Corinthians 7:21–24, NKJV)
One’s salvation in Christ does not depend on whether the person is a slave or free at the time of conversion. If the converted slave can become free, then do so. If not, then be a faithful Christian as a slave. The slave who is a Christian is free from sin in the Lord (John 8:34-36). When the person who is not a slave becomes a bondservant of God upon his conversion to Christ (1 Peter 2:16). Whether slave or free, we are all one in Christ (Galatians 3:28). What we must not do is enslave our faith to another person. Christ has redeemed us with His blood, therefore, we belong to Him. We serve Him before anyone else. This is the principle undergirding the instruction in 1 Corinthians 7:15 to let the unbeliever “depart” if that person is unwilling to be married to a believer who serves Christ first. We must “remain with God” and not compromise our faith for the sake of others (verse 23). This means we must abide in the word of Christ instead of following the dictates of others – including an unbelieving spouse (John 8:31-32).