Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33, NKJV)
Marriage is a figure of the relationship between Christ and His church (Eph. 5:22-32). Under this figure, we learn how to conduct ourselves toward Christ. And, we learn how God expects us to conduct ourselves in our marriages. Jesus Christ loved the church and sacrificed His life to cleanse and sanctify her (Eph. 5:25-27). His sacrificial love compels the church to eagerly submit to Christ (“the head of the church”) in everything (Eph. 5:23-24). Like Christ, the husband is the “head of the wife,” and is to love his wife “as Christ loved the church” (Eph. 5:23, 25). And, “just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything” (Eph. 5:24). Jesus is the great Servant-Leader, who died so His bride, the church, could live. As a husband, you must be a Servant-Leader, serving the best interests of your wife with sacrificial love. And, just as the church adores and honors Christ by following His leadership, the wife is to respect and honor her husband by following his leadership in all things. Such unity of mind and purpose between Christ and His church produces a fulfilled, holy, and eternal relationship (Eph. 5:27). Likewise, marriage thrives when God’s will is followed by the husband and the wife. Husband, love your wife and be the leader God wants you to be in your home. Wife, honor your husband with loving respect.
And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people. (Matthew 4:23, NKJV)
It is quite disheartening to hear gospel preachers teach that Jesus was teaching the Law of Moses to the Jews while He was on the earth. They say this, it seems, to prop up their own false teaching about marriage, divorce and remarriage. They say we cannot use Matthew 5 and 19 to know about divorce and remarriage today, because He was teaching Jews how to be good Jews under the Law. But, Jesus was preaching “the gospel of the kingdom” – no plainer, simpler words could describe the content of Christ’s teaching. His sermon on the mount (Matthew 5-7) was the gospel of the kingdom, not a rehearsal of how to keep the Law of Moses. Jesus came to fulfill the law and the prophets (which He did, Matt. 5:17-18; Lk. 24:44-47; Rom. 10:4), not to preach it. The miracles of Jesus did not confirm the validity of the Law of Moses, they confirmed the validity of the gospel Jesus preached. They showed Him to the be Son of God, not the defender of Moses (John 20:30-31). We may – and must – go to what Jesus taught while He was on earth, as well as what His apostles taught after He ascended, to learn His will on “all things that pertain to life and godliness” – including the subject of marriage, divorce and remarriage.
14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some have already turned aside after Satan. (1 Timothy 5:14–15, NKJV)
The apostle of Christ glorifies marriage and motherhood; our humanistic society does not. In today’s passage, the marriage of younger widows guards them against sins associated with idleness (gossiping busybodies, 1 Tim. 5:13), and protect them against the slanderous ruin of their godly reputations. Marriage was not developed through the ages by mankind; our Creator gave us marriage in order to populate the planet, and to maintain moral purity (1 Cor. 7:2; Gen. 1:27-28; 2:24-25; 1 Cor. 7:2). Marriage is designed to provide the emotional, material, and spiritual security of a family. The wife who manages her home and raises her children in the ways of the Lord makes immeasurable contributions to this world. God continues to call us back to His ideal for the home. “Let marriage be held in honor among all” continues to be desperately needed (Heb. 13:4, ESV). Some have already turned aside to Satan by disrespecting marriage and motherhood. Let us determine not to be among that number.
Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18, NKJV)
Every sin we commit begins in the mind (“outside the body”), as Jesus taught in Mark 7:20-23 (see Matt. 5:27-28). Therefore, control the mind; control the body. Sexual immorality (porneia, fornication) is antagonistic to the purpose God gave our bodies –which is to give glory to God (1 Cor. 6:19-20). When sexual activity occurs outside of God-endorsed marriage, it is not love; it is dishonorable in His sight. This is God’s judgment, since He said, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4). Christians are “joined to the Lord,” therefore, we must not join ourselves to a harlot (1 Cor. 6:16-18). Christ calls us to keep our minds and our bodies pure, so that we may serve the Lord in holiness, not moral defilement. “As He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, Be holy, for I am holy” (1 Pet. 1:15-16).
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her… 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. (1 Corinthians 7:12, 15, NKJV)
Some Christians question whether they must end their marriage to an unbeliever, in order to be faithful to Jesus. The apostle applies Jesus’ teaching from Matthew 19:6 – “what God has joined together, let not man put asunder” – and answers, “No.” Is the unbeliever is willing to allow the Christian to live his or her faith, do so and bring a godly influence into the home (1 Cor. 7:12-14; 1 Pet. 3:1-6). If that willingness is not present, and the unbeliever sunders the marriage (being unwilling to have his or her spouse to live for Christ, v. 16), the Christian is “not under bondage in such cases.” That is, the Christian is not now, and never has been a slave to the unbeliever (see 1 Cor. 7:23). This verse does not teach another cause for divorce and remarriage, that is, desertion. (Marriage is for life, with one cause for one party to be free to remarry, the cause of fornication, Matt. 19:3-6, 9.) Instead, it teaches the believer that his or her faith is not negotiable – even in a marriage. Do not surrender your faith for the sake of pleasing any person; “you were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men” (1 Cor. 7:23). God has called you to be at peace with Him (v. 15). So, do the will of God, not the will of men.
8 Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Romans 13:8–9, NKJV)
We have a moral obligation to love our neighbor as ourselves. Adultery, murder, theft, lying and covetousness are adverse to this love. Take the sin of adultery as an example. It is entirely selfish and self-centered. Although the world often calls adultery a “love affair”, it is anything but that. It is a selfish, destructive affair for all involved; it is not a victimless sin. And there are always more people involved than just the two principal parties. Adultery rips marriages apart through the betrayal of trust. Children are uprooted from love’s security and placed into an uncertain world where parents pleasing themselves takes priority over protecting children from emotional trauma. Adultery is always accompanied by other sins; lust, deceit and covetousness, just to name a few. Adultery is against the God-given purpose of the body and the nature of marriage’s oneness (1 Cor. 6:15-20). Do not yield to its temptation. It is a destructive fire, consuming all who touch it (Prov. 6:25-29). If you already have, repent and put away the sin, and live holy before God and men (1 Cor. 6:9-11).
10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: 12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.” (Matthew 19:10–12, NKJV)
The disciples understood the words of Jesus. He said there is only one cause for divorce and remarriage (Matt. 19:3, 6, 9). “All cannot accept this saying” because all are not willing to accept it. This is equivalent to Jesus saying, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear!” (Matt. 11:14-15). Some are willing to forego sexual relations for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, and will refrain from marriage in order to be holy (Matt. 19:9). Self-denial rather than indulging oneself in sin is the mark of discipleship (Lk. 9:23; 14:26-27). God’s marriage law is rigorous, while men’s are very loose. Marriage must not be entered into lightly, but with reverent attention to its permanency and commitment. God’s marriage law has been given to mankind. All who marry are under the authority of God respecting marriage. When God joins man and woman in marriage, He does so for life. “Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:6). Do you have ears to hear (accept) the words of Jesus?