34 Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. 35 For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; 36 and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ (Matthew 10:34–36, NKJV)
The Prince of Peace brought spiritual warfare to the earth (Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil, 1 John 3:8). His gospel marks the dividing line between truth and error, good and evil, right and wrong. Truth has that effect; it divides the closest of relatives. Our adversary the devil uses our earthly relations (parents, children and spouses) to slander our loyalty to Jesus and tempt us to choose family over faith. Will you compromise truth and abandon your faith for the sake of your father, mother, child, spouse or in-law? Not everyone the Christian loves will love God. Borrowing from Micah 7:6, Jesus strips away the illusion that we can follow Him without fighting the good fight of faith. Your faith must not be in other people, no matter how closely related you are to them. Your first allegiance is to Jesus and His truth. He is our means of peace with God and with those who follow Him (Ephesians 2:14). Jesus preached peace, but every day He battled the forces of unbelief. He expects you, dear Christian, to wage the same fight (see 2 Corinthians 10:3-5; 1 Timothy 6:12; 1 John 5:3-4).
Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. (Luke 2:51, NKJV)
Jesus was an obedient child. He intentionally subjected himself to the nurturing of his parents, just as God still expects children to do (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1-3). While some may think 12-year-old Jesus did not obey his parents when he lingered behind in Jerusalem following the Passover, we do not agree with that conclusion at all. As Jesus passed from childhood (“child,” Luke 2:40) to adolescence (“boy,” Luke 2:43) his spiritual life also matured (Luke 2:52). This is revealed in how he answered his parents. Joseph and Mary should have known where to look for Jesus, he said, because they should have known he “must be about my Father’s business” (Luke 2:49). His obedience to his parents is the model for children today. Growing up does not mean you do not have to obey your parents, it means obeying them in a responsible way. Like every mother, as Jesus grew to adulthood, Mary treasured in her heart all the things he said and did. As you transition from childhood to adolescence to adulthood, leave your parents good memories of respectful obedience to keep in their hearts, not rebellious opposition. Jesus shows you how.
“Whoever keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons shames his father.” (Proverbs 28:7, NKJV)
Parents want to be proud of their children. Christian fathers (and mothers) endeavor to bring up their children “in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The wise child knows the value of this parental training, and shows his discernment by keeping the law of God which he has been taught. Conversely, the son who chooses to share his life with those who indulge in riotous excess, shames his father. Sin always brings shame, not honor. That truth was on display in Eden, and continues to be so whenever we choose sin over the will of God (Genesis 3:7-10). Children who run headlong into sin not only shame themselves, but also their parents (and others who love them). “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother” (Proverbs 10:1). Teach your child to be wise in what is good, and to turn away from evil. Every child, thus taught, must choose to keep God’s will. Wisdom to do so begins with the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 9:10). Making this wise choice will bring joy to your father’s heart: “Whoever loves wisdom makes his father rejoice, but a companion of harlots wastes his wealth” (Proverbs 29:3). Unquestionably, your obedience to God honors your father and mother (Ephesians 6:1-2).
If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows. (1 Timothy 5:16, NKJV)
Family is the first line of provision and protection for the elderly. Just as God gave the family structure to take care of children, family also has the responsibility to care for their older members. Jesus severely rebuked the Pharisees for not taking care of their parents by falsely claiming their duty was complete when they had devoted their goods to God (Mk. 9:7-13). Today’s verse makes a difference between who the local church is charged to relieve, and those for whom the family has primary charge. The church is not to be charged with the ongoing care of widows (and widowers) who have Christian children. They bear the first responsibility. The church has its own charge; those widows who do not have children to care for them. God’s plan works, when we honor God, and our parents who need our care.
11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction; 12 For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights. (Proverbs 3:11–12, NKJV)
The parent who loves his or her child will discipline the misbehaving child. Instruction, along with punishment, consistently applied to correct disobedient behavior, works. The Lord God, who made us, knows it does, and He applies His “chastening” (instructive and corrective training) to produce respectful, obedient children. The child-rearing experts who refuse punitive correction do a great disservice to this generation – and the next. It is precisely because the father “delights” in (loves) his child that he corrects his child. “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Prov. 13:24). True, correction is not pleasant when applied, but “afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:11). Parents, teach and correct your children, using consist love, as the Lord does His children. Let us all heed the wise counsel of Solomon not to reject the Lord’s correction of our sins. It is intended for our benefit now, and our eternal salvation by and by.
When all that generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the Lord nor the work which He had done for Israel. (Judges 2:10, NKJV)
It has been said that God has no grandchildren. That is, every generation must hear, learn and come to know the Lord for itself. The faith of parents does not transfer to children by osmosis or by proximity. It happens through deliberate training that is instructive and corrective (Eph. 6:4). Israel was to teach the word of the Lord diligently to their children in order to equip them to be faithful and blessed (Deut. 6:7-13; 11:18-23). Children live what they learn. The secular influences around them are teaching them many things that are against the will and word of God. Your children need consistent teaching from God’s word to help them develop their own faith, so they can choose to serve Jesus and His gospel. And, they need to see you being faithful to Christ and His gospel. Speaking truth to them, but not living the truth before them, will hinder them from choosing to know God and His salvation.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1–3, NKJV)
God knows the importance of children obeying their parents. When God spoke the Ten Commandments to Israel from Mt. Sinai, He made honoring their parents the condition upon which He would bless them with long life in the promised land (Exo. 20:12). The home is the training ground for honoring and obeying God Himself. Obeying parents develops moral accountability in children, preparing them to also honor and obey God. Disrespectful, disobedient children grow up to disrespect and disobey the heavenly Father (Rom. 1:28, 30; 2 Tim. 3:1-4). While the obedient child obtains blessings from God and men, the rebellious child equips himself for a painful life and eternal sorrow. “My son, keep your father’s command, and do not forsake the law of your mother” (Prov. 6:20).