“Whoever keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons shames his father.” (Proverbs 28:7, NKJV)
Parents want to be proud of their children. Christian fathers (and mothers) endeavor to bring up their children “in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The wise child knows the value of this parental training, and shows his discernment by keeping the law of God which he has been taught. Conversely, the son who chooses to share his life with those who indulge in riotous excess, shames his father. Sin always brings shame, not honor. That truth was on display in Eden, and continues to be so whenever we choose sin over the will of God (Genesis 3:7-10). Children who run headlong into sin not only shame themselves, but also their parents (and others who love them). “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother” (Proverbs 10:1). Teach your child to be wise in what is good, and to turn away from evil. Every child, thus taught, must choose to keep God’s will. Wisdom to do so begins with the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 9:10). Making this wise choice will bring joy to your father’s heart: “Whoever loves wisdom makes his father rejoice, but a companion of harlots wastes his wealth” (Proverbs 29:3). Unquestionably, your obedience to God honors your father and mother (Ephesians 6:1-2).
If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows. (1 Timothy 5:16, NKJV)
Family is the first line of provision and protection for the elderly. Just as God gave the family structure to take care of children, family also has the responsibility to care for their older members. Jesus severely rebuked the Pharisees for not taking care of their parents by falsely claiming their duty was complete when they had devoted their goods to God (Mk. 9:7-13). Today’s verse makes a difference between who the local church is charged to relieve, and those for whom the family has primary charge. The church is not to be charged with the ongoing care of widows (and widowers) who have Christian children. They bear the first responsibility. The church has its own charge; those widows who do not have children to care for them. God’s plan works, when we honor God, and our parents who need our care.
11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction; 12 For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights. (Proverbs 3:11–12, NKJV)
The parent who loves his or her child will discipline the misbehaving child. Instruction, along with punishment, consistently applied to correct disobedient behavior, works. The Lord God, who made us, knows it does, and He applies His “chastening” (instructive and corrective training) to produce respectful, obedient children. The child-rearing experts who refuse punitive correction do a great disservice to this generation – and the next. It is precisely because the father “delights” in (loves) his child that he corrects his child. “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Prov. 13:24). True, correction is not pleasant when applied, but “afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:11). Parents, teach and correct your children, using consist love, as the Lord does His children. Let us all heed the wise counsel of Solomon not to reject the Lord’s correction of our sins. It is intended for our benefit now, and our eternal salvation by and by.
When all that generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the Lord nor the work which He had done for Israel. (Judges 2:10, NKJV)
It has been said that God has no grandchildren. That is, every generation must hear, learn and come to know the Lord for itself. The faith of parents does not transfer to children by osmosis or by proximity. It happens through deliberate training that is instructive and corrective (Eph. 6:4). Israel was to teach the word of the Lord diligently to their children in order to equip them to be faithful and blessed (Deut. 6:7-13; 11:18-23). Children live what they learn. The secular influences around them are teaching them many things that are against the will and word of God. Your children need consistent teaching from God’s word to help them develop their own faith, so they can choose to serve Jesus and His gospel. And, they need to see you being faithful to Christ and His gospel. Speaking truth to them, but not living the truth before them, will hinder them from choosing to know God and His salvation.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1–3, NKJV)
God knows the importance of children obeying their parents. When God spoke the Ten Commandments to Israel from Mt. Sinai, He made honoring their parents the condition upon which He would bless them with long life in the promised land (Exo. 20:12). The home is the training ground for honoring and obeying God Himself. Obeying parents develops moral accountability in children, preparing them to also honor and obey God. Disrespectful, disobedient children grow up to disrespect and disobey the heavenly Father (Rom. 1:28, 30; 2 Tim. 3:1-4). While the obedient child obtains blessings from God and men, the rebellious child equips himself for a painful life and eternal sorrow. “My son, keep your father’s command, and do not forsake the law of your mother” (Prov. 6:20).
10 Hear, my son, and receive my sayings, and the years of your life will be many. 11 I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths. 12 When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, and when you run, you will not stumble. 13 Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; keep her, for she is your life. (Proverbs 4:10–13, NKJV)
Parental instruction, given in harmony with God’s word, will bless your child. The parenting model that says, “I let my child decide for themselves” will ultimate result in juvenile, even foolish and harmful decisions. (What if the child decides to play in the street?) Children need guidance, they are not “free range” animals, to come and go at will. Teach your child “in the way of wisdom” and lead him or her “in right paths” by your own example of righteousness. Do not hinder your child by given them unclear teaching and ungodly influences. Teach them in the way they should go (Prov. 22:6).
1 Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, and give attention to know understanding; 2 For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law. 3 When I was my father’s son, tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, 4 He also taught me, and said to me: “Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live. (Proverbs 4:1–4, NKJV)
Isn’t it amazing how much wiser our parents became by the time we were twenty-five years old than when we were fifteen?! Of course, it was not that they had a spurt of wisdom, but that we matured and began to appreciate the understanding and wisdom they had all along. The seasoned counsel and experience of parents will be listened to and followed by the wise child. God has so arranged that each generation is helped grow to maturity by the wisdom of godly, parental instruction. Do not resist the “good doctrine” of your parents. Your will have a blessing in your life as you accept and follow your parents’ wise guidance.